I said to God, much
before the beginning of time,
“Create me, and I will sing and
dance for your pleasure.”
I was a love without a lover,
and then a lover without a love;
now I am merged, and the
heavens weep with joy.
Who is lonely now?
—the Lover and the Beloved are
“It’s a secret,” Gandalf said,
“keep it hidden, keep it safe,”
but I have stumbled, and
love has tumbled out of my
clothing, my pockets and
Forgetting the hand, the writer
becomes the pen; forgetting the
pen, the writer becomes the ink;
forgetting the ink, the writer
becomes the words; forgetting
the words, the writer becomes
It is erotic, this Love, for it
touches every part of me, in a
way that no lover ever has.
That said, don’t be shy, if you
see anything you like, come,
pray with me!
I gave up in-lovement for Love,
I gave up lovers for the Beloved;
to wed me now would be without
How could you? whoever you
are, we are already married—
now the real honeymoon begins!
In cooperation with the Gavin Dillard archives in the James C Hormel LGBT Center of the San Francisco Public Library
and the Don Kelly Collection in the Cushing Archives at Texas A&M University (College Station, Texas)
All content copyright © Gavin Dillard Poetry Library & Archive